What gets called mental disorder or illness, mild or severe, shows itself as a misplaced fear of others. Personal relationships break down, followed by an inability to form and maintain new ones. The sufferer becomes progressively more emotionally and cognitively isolated. Madness results from our failure to constantly update and modify our mental map of the world. If we do not ‘test’ our predictions, beliefs, dreams, thoughts, internal dialogue, fantasies, hypotheses, plans, ideas about how the world is, and what the people within it think and feel, our map becomes rapidly out of date. If we act with an out of date model of the world - we will look mad to others, and they will treat us as mad. If others don’t share a large part of our model of reality we are emotionally and cognitively isolated. We need an accurate map; by sharing we come to have a more complete understanding than we could ever achieve alone. The ability to doubt and live with uncertainty, and hence know that we must constantly test our vision of the world - is sanity. To control and fix our view is the first step on the road to disaster and the way an unchanging outlook is maintained is by isolating oneself from any evidence that might contradict it. An unmodified and out of date model of the world is one where our thoughts and feelings are anchored in the past, hence our predictions of the future may be hopelessly wrong.



Sunday 24 January 2010

Self-management - practical and emotional resources (updated 2014)


Practical resources I can usually organise for myself. They allow me to go where I want, when I want. They allow me to reach the emotional support and motivation I need - for that can only come from others.

My practical resources all centre around my leather satchel for which I paid almost £130 three years ago - an extravagant purchase you might think for someone on £91.80 per week benefits, but it’s intended to last a lifetime and it does the job required of it. It contains all I need to survive, it goes wherever I go!


So what’s in the bag?


It contains; diary/ address book, A-Z for Exeter, Torbay and Plymouth, several Stagecoach Devon timetables, a First Great Western timetable, A4 writing paper, pencil, red pen, yellow highlighter, post-it pad, red and black whiteboard markers, cloth for cleaning white board, extra tobacco and papers, spare lighter, re-usable cloth shopping bag, extra large plastic bag, sun glasses, reading glasses, benefits letter, CV, photocopy of some meditation techniques, my WRAP (on 2 sides of single sheet A4), bottle of tap water, Mac-in-a-Bag, sun hat, comb, spare key to my flat, Ventolin inhaler, 8 combined Aspirin/ Paracetamol/ Caffeine tablets, 6 low dose sleeping tablets, 2 condoms, 2 sticking plasters, 2 x 20p, a AAA battery, digital voice recorder, student ID and carrier, memory stick (back-up for my own computer, but also allows me to work on anyone else’s; contains hundreds of emails/ contacts, all my own writing, electronic versions of articles, bits of books, policy documents, reports, guides to everything that seems worth knowing about mental wellbeing!)


About my person I carry keys, coins, tobacco, papers and filters, lighter, tissues, wallet containing single debit card, driving licence, folding money, stamps, a couple of passport photos and my mobile. And last of all my go anywhere/ anytime Gold Mega Rider bus pass for Stagecoach Devon.


All the above gets me by bus/ train/ walking to my emotional resources and sources of motivation; and they in turn mark-out the limits of my territory (between Exeter and Plymouth with occasional forages as far as Bristol).


My only goal is the next horizon, my only need to meet someone there I care about - who will teach me something I don’t already know!


 

(..but now all that has changed. As of November 2014 I have a new satchel - there is nothing wrong with the old one I just want it exclusively for beachcombing - and there has been a lot of change to the contents too, brought on by my inevitable switch to a smart mobile device. The new bag cost just as much as the old one, and contains the further luxury of a proper leather bound Filofax to replace the diary/address book. Just as others are coming to depend on an electronic organiser, I take seriously the research that suggests that when it comes to memory and recall, then the hand/eye work of handwriting is much more likely to help than a keyboard/console with a screen. The A4 pad has also gone in favour of the back of the Filofax. The attraction of Google Earth plus maps plus GPS means I’m down to one local A-Z, and far fewer transport timetables! I still rely on the Bus Pass, though I can drive if I need to. Increasingly the smart device leads, it satellites around the laptop at home, plus relieving me of the need to carry a digital voice recorder, a calculator, a book…)

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